Wishing to the Stars
by Yuki Haitani
Summary: Yuya wants to play a game with kyo and Benitora and Yukimora look back on memories of when they last had sex? What? Man ppl I don't know how this fic happened...but it did so uh...Read it?
1. Default Chapter

A/n: Well man, I swear! I just don't think that there are enough Samurai deeper kyo fics. So I'm gonna write one. Well, I'm not exactly saying that this is gonna be really good. I'm not saying anything. But go easy on me please. And now the story!  
  
Disclaimer: Just look at my f'in profile page if you want to know if I own anything  
  
**_Wishing to the Stars  
_**  
_**Chapter1 Success is never on the first try**_  
  
"Stop falling behind girl," shouts demon eyes Kyo as he looks over his shoulder and glares death at me.  
  
I smile and run over to his side, still smiling. He just looks down at me, still glaring.  
  
_Well he won't be glaring for long._  
  
I giggle and his jaw drops but he realizes his mistake and quickly clamps his mouth shut.  
  
_Yup this will be fun! For I Yuya Shiina, will make Demon Eyes Kyo crazy out of his mind once I'm through with him!  
_  
I place my hand on his shoulder and coo, "Kyo, darling I'd like you to come with me." I end that sentence with a wink to Benitora and Yukimora and they quickly grin at me. Kyo looks over at them in question.  
  
Yukimora grins, "Oh! I think you should go with her! Go Kyo, I think she has something that she needs to give you!"  
  
Benitora starts whistling and I giggle again to add the cherry on the top. Kyo then has no choice but to follow me and we walk through the trees and away from the group.  
  
Sasuke raises an eyebrow, "What's she gonna give him?"  
  
Yukimora chuckles and Benitora laughs his head off while ruffling the boys hair, "I'll tell ya when you're older.  
  
Sasuke growls and slaps Benitora's hand off his head.  
  
_Somewhere off into the forest..._  
  
"Where are you taking me, woman!"  
  
I grin back at Kyo and turn back to the path that leads us to our destination, "Oh Kyo! I'm taking you to...well you'll find out when we get there ok?"  
  
Kyo growls and suddenly he turns me around really hard to where I almost fall on my ass, but Kyo catches me. His ruby red eyes glare down at me in annoyance, "Where are you taking me?"  
  
For a moment I forget where I'm taking him myself but I remember quickly and I smile adoringly up at him, making him flinch, "Oh my dear Kyo, you're so impatient!"  
  
And I giggle again as I kiss his cheek leaving him once again, speechless. Now we are heading back towards the awaited place.  
  
_Somewhere in the forest again...  
_  
"So uh...what's happening again?"  
  
Yukimora smiles over at Megeria and says, "Oh, so you're saying that you don't know. Well my boy I think you're too young to know, so you'll just have to get the answer from Benitora."  
  
Megeria snorts, "Tooyoung! I bet I'm older then you!"  
  
Benitora nods his head in agreement, "I think he's right. How old are you Yukimora?"  
  
Yukimora chuckles and says, "Old enough to get pleasure from a pretty lady."  
  
Sasuke is frowning next to Saizo but he doesn't say anything.  
  
Megeria only snorts again, "So you're telling me that Demon eyes Kyo is gonna get pleasure from Yuya-san?"  
  
They stay silent and Megeria takes that as a yes, "Oh pushaw! Whatever man! I doubt Yuya even knows what kinda trouble she's getting herself into. I mean sure she's beautiful but I don't think she's had much experience when it comes to giving a guy his stuff you know."  
  
Benitora frowns and says, "Nope. I think she does know what she's doing. But what troubles me is if she knows how BIG the situation is."  
  
Yukimora coughs and...then he coughs again, "Well Yuya is just teasing Kyo. She's not really gonna do anything. But you're right. I'm not sure if she really knows how BIG this is."  
  
They all nod to themselves and stay silent for a couple of minutes until Saizo thinks that he's had enough silence and he says, "Ummm, guys...what exactly...are we talking about?"  
  
They all just stare at him in shock.  
  
_Somewhere else in the forest....again...._  
  
"See Kyo! This is where I was taking you!"  
  
Kyo stares in amazement as he realizes she just took him to a hot spring with a really good view of the mountains. The water was steamy and the hot spring was surrounded by trees making it shady with some rays of sunlight still shining through to light it up. The place looked pretty darn romantic so he was wondering why exactly she brought him here. But he didn't have to wonder very long when he saw that Yuya was taking off her clothes while looking at him with lust filled eyes. He smirked when he realized that this was all a game.  
  
_Does this woman really think she can outsmart me? Well 2 can play at that game.  
_  
And with that thought running through his mind he began to take off his clothes as well while wearing a lecherous grin.  
  
Yuki Haitani: Oh well, the lemon will be up tomorrow...or tonight in like an hour. I swear. I just had to quickly type this though so I could save it and get off the internet. My dad told me to get off, so now I'm gonna have to wait an hour until I get back on. But while I'm off I'll type the chappie k? Well R&R while I'm gone! 


	2. Play with me dear

A/n: Well, b/c I got at least one review and b/c I was planning on typing it anyway I posted the second chapter to this. But sadly dudes, I'm afraid that I might have a few problems writing this lemon b/c it's like the (counts) first lemon I've ever written. So be gentle ppls and cut me some slack. And I'm also VERY sorry about how I took so F'in long to get the guts to type this. I mean ppls don't get me wrong. I'm a pervert down to my very core but I read lemons, I don't write them. So like I said before be gentle on the flames and realize that this is my first. And as a warning I will not be held responsible for any of the weird stuffs that may occur during this chapter, even if I did write it. Allrighty here we go.  
  
_**Chapter 2 Play with me dear  
  
**Man! There is no way in hell that I'm gonna take my clothes off while Kyo stares at me and gets to see my boobs! I'm only trying to tease him! It's not like I actually WANT to have sex with him.  
_  
So with that in mind Yuya turns around, taking off the rest of her clothes but still putting on a towel and getting in the hot spring.  
  
_Man! Kyo just got a REALLY good view of my ass. Well It's not like he saw anything else though. But still! Shit. I'm gonna have to be more careful while doing this.  
  
_The sound of clothes falling made Yuya tense up and it was almost on reflex that she turn around and see where the sound came from. And for god's sake did she see something man!  
  
_Oh holy shit! Kyo is naked! And it's so HUGE!!! Oh my god! Can I really pull this off? I mean the only reason why I'm doing this is to prove to Kyo and the other guys that I'm a woman, and I can easily get a man! But why oh WHY did he have to be so HUGE!!!  
  
_Kyo sees Yuya's eyes hover over his cough for a couple of seconds (more like minutes) too long and he smirks at her when her eyes finally reach his face. Her face was so red that a when a tomato saw it the thing ran away crying because it was so jealous. Yuya quickly turns her face away and coughs twice way too loudly to be just a normal cough. But when we rewind the tape and put it on slow motion we can hear what was said in the middle of those two coughs. Watch:  
  
Yuya's face slowly turns into a glowing red stoplight and then there's the tomato running away...and then she turns around and says... cough Fuck! It's huge! cough  
  
Oh-ho! Double take! Rewinds and shows a close up of Yuya's face as she says "Fuck! It's huge!"  
  
Triple take! Rewinds and shows close up of yuya's mouth saying, "Fuck! It's huge!"  
  
(Laughing hysterically) Damn! That was golden! And the best part was...Kyo...with his demon eyes power...somehow heard it.  
  
_Wow. So she likes it huh. mind snicker Well let's see if she likes this then.  
  
_Demon eyes Kyo...slayer of 1,000 men...slowly walks over to where Yuya is sitting...still naked...with his very amused smirk still on. Yuya slowly turns around when she hears footsteps and she comes FACE TO FACE with the Kyo's cough, otherwise known as...the thing that Yuya's so worked up about. And yes...it is very huge.  
  
_Oh my god! I thought it looked huge before...but close up...right in front of my face...it's like the biggest sausage ever made in the WORLD!!!!  
_  
Yuya gasps and because she wasn't in her right mind she slowly lifts up her hand. Her fingertips are mere inches away from touching the golden sausage...when she hears a throat clear and she looks up into the very amused crimson eyes of none other then the wielder of the golden sausage himself...Kyo. Kyo inwardly chuckles and says, "What do you think you're doing?"  
  
Yuya's throat tightens and her mind goes blank as she tries to come up with an excuse. But all she could think of saying was, "Me! What about you! You're the one who stuck it in my face trying to seduce me or something!"  
  
Kyo's smirk widens into a very evil grin as he replies while sitting down into the water...really close beside her, "Well, if I recall, who was it that brought me to this place and got naked in front of me?"  
  
Yuya could think of nothing to say to that so she settled for an "Hmph" with a turn of her head. Kyo just became even more amused as he tried to stop from laughing but failed. Yuya turns her head in confusion as she stares with wide innocent eyes as low rumbling noises come from Kyo. Kyo...was laughing. And all Yuya could think about was how amazingly sexy Kyo sounded when he laughed.  
  
_He should really laugh more often. He has such a nice voice too...along with a great body.  
  
_But somehow Yuya found herself bewitched by the man sitting beside her and just like before her hand rose and firmly but gently took a hold of Kyo's chin, turning his head to face hers. Kyo quickly stopped laughing and he was about to ask what she thought she was doing as he looked into her forest green eyes but was cut off when her lips were suddenly upon his.  
  
At first Kyo was about to throw a fit of rage but his body wasn't listening to him and soon he found his arms wrapped tightly around her waist. The kiss changed from a gentle one to a fiery and passionate kiss as each explored each others mouth with their curious tongues. Kyo and Yuya were each trying to stop but their bodies had a mind of their own. Kyo fisted his hand in her hair and pushed her body closer to his as her moans made him grow hard and made him crave for more of her. His other hand was hastily taking the towel off and throwing it into some random tree. (Really ppl. Who cares what tree the thing is thrown into? I don't)  
  
Yuya's hands were also busy as they wander all over Kyo's body making Kyo release moans that made him sound like he would die without her touch. With the towel finally gone Kyo was able to run his hands all over Yuya's silky and smooth body. Kyo broke the kiss and let his eyes take in the beauty that was in front of him as his dark ruby red eyes gaze at her like a lion would it's prey. His eyes slowly met hers and moth could see how hungry they were for one another. And without anymore delay Kyo positioned himself between Yuya's legs and then paused to look into her eyes in a warning way. Yuya nodded understanding and closed her eyes, awaiting the pain that would come. And as Kyo pushed himself inside of her he covered her lips with his own to catch the cry of pain. When she quieted down her looked at her and started to kiss each hot tear that rolled down her cheek away. She smiled and nodded at him again as he started thrusting in and out of her. Their desires for each other were fulfilled as they each came to their peek and they screamed out each others names. Well Yuya screamed. Kyo moaned. But what do you expect? Guys don't scream. Kyo started kissing Yuya's neck and then stopped and just rested his head on her shoulder as he breathed in heavily, trying to catch his breath.  
  
After a couple of minutes Kyo moved to stand up but Yuya grabbed his wrist and asked, "Where are you going?"  
  
Kyo looked down at her with his usual emotionless mask back on and said, "I'm going to put my clothes back on. And then I'm going back to camp. Now let my hand go now."  
  
Yuya just watched him get out of the water, dry himself, put his clothes back on and leave. Confusion was all she could feel now.  
  
_What just happened? Didn't we just...then why is he..._  
  
Yuya did the same as Kyo and walked back to camp not knowing why any of that happened.  
  
Back at camp...  
  
Yukimora nods as he listens to Benitora tell his story of when he was 15 and how he made sweet passionate love to this girl named Betty in the middle of a road.  
  
"And she was stuck on me for months, even when I told her that it was only for one night!"  
  
Yukimora shrugs and sighs, "Well, women will be women. You just can't understand them. Like I remember this one time a couple of years ago, there was this girl named Mika and she simply adored me! But one night when we were caught in this huge thunder storm and were forced to stay at an inn with only one bed we made love and the next morning she said she didn't feel the same way for me and that we could only be friends. I mean it was strange because I wasn't aware that I had any feelings for that girl."  
  
Megeria just nodded as if some wise monk knowing the ways of the world...which he might...who knows? I don't.  
  
Suddenly Kyo steps out from behind some trees making Saizo, the sissy he is (sorry to all you Saizo fans out there...if there even is any) run and hide behind Yukimora like some frightened little school boy. Sasuke just looks up at Kyo and them continues to dissect a squirrel that he was busying himself with during the whole time Benitora and Yukimora were talking about sex.  
  
Benitora looks around Kyo and asks, "Hey Kyo! Where's miss Yuya?"  
  
"I'm right here," says a voice from behind Kyo. Yuya steps out of the shadows that the fire casted around the campsite and everyone notices something that seems different.  
  
Yukimora: Something seems wrong. I wonder if Kyo got a hair cut. Sure looks nice! )  
  
Saizo: Kyo is so hot and sexy...if only I WERE'NT THE GIRLY LITTLE SCHOOL BOY THAT I AM I'D GO AND ASK HIM OUT!!! TT)  
  
Megeria: I need to take a piss. A long piss. It might last maybe twenty to thirty minutes even. Oh man, forget that! It'll take forty minutes! )  
  
Sasuke: This squirrel's gonna taste really good! Fried squirrel rocks!(Hey he seems like he'd be a great camper being as he's a little forest boy and all)  
  
Benitora: Wow, miss Yuya seems really upset. Maybe I should make sweet passionate love to her and them she'll forget all about her troubles and I'll be on her mind all night...and day)  
  
Benitora gets up to ask Yuya what's wrong but she raises a hand and stops him as she goes to sit down and lean against a tree. Kyo does the same and soon the gangs thoughts were gone once again.  
  
Yukimora: Wow, miss Yuya's boobs remind me of this one girl's that used to have a fan group called "Yukimora's lovers" and lovers they were! But man! Her boobs were small! (I've always thought that Yukimora seems like a Pimp. So I'm making him one in here)  
  
Saizo: So hot and sexy. Yes very hot and sexy. Oh Megeria if only you knew how I felt about you!  
  
Megeria: Man! Saizo better look away in like two seconds or I'm gonna stick my foot so far up is ass he'll be chewing on it. Freakin pixiestick!  
  
Sasuke: whistling in his mind as he turns the stick with the dead squirrel on it around, above a little fire  
  
Benitora: What the HELL is Sasuke doin!?  
  
Yuya looks at Kyo for a couple of minutes nervously before saying, "Kyo I um...I just-  
  
"Don't speak to me servant."  
  
Yuya's breathing becomes harsh and her eyes water up as she tries to see what's wrong, "Kyo! But I thought that you...and me...I thought you..."  
  
Kyo laughs in a sadistic way as he looks over the fire at her with fierce prediter eyes and says, "What! Did you think that I loved you? Don't make me laugh. Oh, scratch that! You already did."  
  
Yuya starts crying and she gets up and runs deep into the woods, back to the hot springs. As soon as she reaches it she falls to her knees and lets out all the tears and sobs that resulted from her broken heart.  
  
_I've loved Kyo for a little while now but I've been too scared to admit it. Because I knew that if I did he'd probably say exactly what he said just now. But when we...I had hope for that short amount of time. But now it's crushed.  
_  
Yuya looks up at the night sky and tears stream silently down her cheeks.  
  
_He'll never love me. I should've known that. He is Demon Eyes Kyo after all. I couldn't expect love from him.  
_  
A shooting star flies throw the sky and the corners of her lips beg to be turned upright as a memory makes its way into her mind.  
  
_My brother told me if I made a wish on a shooting star then it would come true. But even if I were to wish for this then it still wouldn't happen. But I guess I could try.  
  
_Yuya closes her eyes for a couple seconds and takes a deep breath before opning them and smiling.  
  
"I wish that one day Kyo will love me, just as I love him," she whispers to the night. And as it starts to rain her tears come down with them and her voice is lost to the sound of the darkened sky crying for her.

Yuki Haitani: Oh-ho! That was good! Well R&R!


	3. Randomhappy time

A/n: Well, after last chapter I didn't really know how I was gonna go about writing this one. So this chapter is gonna be like...Random happy time. Enjoy my ppls and remember smoking is only good if you got your ass kicked.  
  
Chapter 3 Random...Happy Time  
  
We see the group walking along a dirt path called "Darkness Road". It was a boring road that had NOTHING to do with the name. The chipmunks were eating some underdeveloped popcorn. The butterflies were dieing. The birds were shitting everywhere. Yup, it was like any other boring road. And Benitora was gonna tell ppl,  
  
"Hey! This road is boring as hell! Where's the action? Where are the chicks that need to be rescued? Where's my stick?"  
  
Megeria turns his head and says, "I would think that it's in your pants."  
  
Benitora snorts, "Nah! Ya think! I'm talking about my weapon...sticky thing a mijiger...I forgot the name...what was it? Muramasa?"  
  
Kyo turns around and shakes his head in disbelief, "No! That's what the thing is! You're lookin for the name of the Muramasa!"  
  
Benitora sighs, "Does anybody remember the name?"  
  
Yuya who was now in denial about anything happening last night answered, "Well, I uh...it was...umm...ok what?"  
  
Yukimora raises an eyebrow, "Ok, so nobody knows the name even though we've all heard Benitora stroking and talking to the thing while he thinks we're sleeping."  
  
Benitora exclaims, "What! You guys spy on me!"  
  
Sasuke sighs and shakes his head, "Well you're so freakin loud it's kinda hard not to."  
  
Benitora pouts, "Ok. Well, so...what's the name of it dammit! Was it Hokuyama? Or was it Hokimoki...Hokachaka...Hokurockshitta?  
  
Yuya claps her hands, "Oh! That last one sounded really close. But I don't think that was the name."  
  
Everyone turns quiet for a couple of minutes until Saizo yells, "My leg! It's being chewed on by a rabid squirrel!"  
  
Megeria shouts, "Who the hell cares about your leg! We have a problem on our hands so shut up!"  
  
Yukimora nods, "Yeah Saizo, be silent...and still."  
  
Saizo starts to cry but nobody's listening as everyone turns back to their thoughts on...stuff.  
  
Kyo: Yuya...Yuya's legs...Yuya's boobs...Yuya's- Kyoshiro STOP TAKING OVER MY MIND FUCKER!!!  
  
Yukimora: I should go to that sake get together that Kotaro's having. Seems really fun! And there's ladies goin too! Woopie!  
  
Yuya: Kyo...what are you thinking? No! I'm supposed to be in denial! Ok, I'm in denial. I'm in denial. I'm in denial. Oh Kyo! I love you!  
  
Sasuke: I'm havin bird shit for dinner! Oh yeah! Bird shit stew. So good!  
  
Saizo: SQIURREL!!! I'M GONNA DIE!!! I'M GONNA DIE A VIRGIN!!! NOOO!!!  
  
Megeria: Man! If Saizo keeps squealing like the girly little fairy that he is I'm gonna Kick his F'in queery ASS!!!  
  
Benitora: Sasuke better get me some sake! And fast! My tiny brain is getting fried! Wait! I remember the name! It's- "Hokurockshimon!" A/N: (Ok, I don't know how to spell the name of the thing. I'm just goin by what the damn thing sounds like ok)  
  
Everyone stops walking and turns their heads in confusion. Benitora starts doing a victory dance, "The name is Hokurockshimon! I remember! Who rocks? I rock! Yeah baby yeah!"  
  
Everyone stays silent and after a couple of minutes Benitora is finally quiet too...until another scream by Saizo interrupts the silence, "MY LEG IS GONE!!! NOOO!!!"  
  
Kyo, angry at how his beautiful unnecessary silence was broken turns around and starts whacking Saizo with his Muramasa while yelling, "WE (whack) TOLD (smack) YOU (Drop kick) TO (Bitch slap) SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU &%&$%$%#$##!"  
  
Everybody stares at Kyo as he beats the shit out of an already dead Saizo. Yukimora walks over to Kyo (who's still kicking the lifeless body) and calmly places his hand on his shoulder. Kyo stops and looks at him in question. Yukimora shakes his head and sighs, "He's already dead Kyo. Just let the dead man lie in piece. Just let him go."  
  
Kyo looks back at the dead body with a blank face and then turns to everybody and says, "Well everyone, what have we learned?"  
  
Yuya gasps and answers, "We learned never to scream while you're leg is being chewed off by a squirrel."  
  
Benitora nods his head in agreement while Megeria is just lookin at Sasuke now frying bird shit in a pan that he got from...no where.  
  
Kyo sighs in exasperation, "No! We learned never to interrupt my unnecessary silence just because your leg is being devoured by some chipmunk."  
  
"Uh, squirrel actually," Yukimora corrects.  
  
Kyo shrugs, "Who cares. Now let's continue on our unimportant journey."  
  
Benitora chooses now to speak up, "Well, isn't this journey to go and get your body?"  
  
Kyo stops walking, looks back at Benitora, and then starts to cry uncharacteristically while Yukimora pats his back trying to sooth the poor soul.  
  
The gang starts walking again and nobody hears or sees...or if they did then even cared about how a dead body fell from the sky and fell on Saizo making them both blow up...leaving no remains...somehow.  
  
Two Hours Later...  
  
"Sasuke! This bird shit stew is the best! What is in this stuff?"  
  
Sasuke beams at Benitora and replies, "What else moron! Bird shit!"  
  
Everybody goes silent...and then a dead body falls from the sky...and the gang...is still silent.  
  
Yuki Haitani: What I tell ya! It's random as hell! I just wanted to update and make the story less depressing so here's what I did ppls. Well if ya liked it...review...and if you didn't...go screw a rock. R&R ppls! 


	4. Give me da passion

A/n: Ok....so I took a break from fanfic writing....everyone needs a break ya know. And it wasn't even a complete break b/c I did a one-shot fanfic for Petshop of Horrors during my little break. I'm not allowed on the internet until my parents come home....I'm thinking that's a buncha bullshit! I mean why do they have to check up on me? They probably just don't want me on the fuckin internet for too long! Pfft! Whatever man. I was actually thinking about playin Resident evil X code: veronica, but with the fact that I had died 5 minutes after I turned on the game....I'm thinking forget this crap ya know. I'll just play Diablo 2 on my laptop.....but then that means that I'd have to install that shit on the computer so I said forget that too. Then I decided to watch Bruce almighty....and when that was over I was like...what do I do now? Then I walked into my brother's room and listened to these Inuyasha Cd's that my brother had borrowed from a friend...even though he doesn't let me in his room without his permission....he's gone for a week or 2 to visit some friends in Texas...so I can do whatever the hell I want in his room ...but then when I was done with all 5 Cd's I got bored again....so I sneaked on the internet to check my email...and I checked them....and then I played some solitaire....and then I decided to work on the fanfic. So now ya know what I do to avoid working on my fanfic. And b/c of the sad fact that the last 3 chapters have been short as hell...I'm gonna make this at least 10 pages so enjoy!  
  
**Chapter 4 Give me the passion**  
  
It was a merry day. It was a cheerful day. It was a shitty day with too much happiness for our characters. So that's why everyone was in such a bad mood. Yuya, being in denial for 3 days now has become emotionally bitchy. Benitora who's cheerful whenever the day is gloomy and there's no reason to be happy is pissed off because now there was a reason to be jolly. Yukimora was WAY too somber and he wanted sake soooooooo badly that he could just...he could just....he could.....do something. Saizo...was dead, as seen in last chapter. Sasuke was chewin on the bone of a dead rat...but he was still bored. And Kyo...was smoking while thinking dirty fantasies about Yuya.  
  
Yup.  
  
All was well...until a dead body fell from a tree without its head. Everyone stopped walking to take pleasure in actually seeing something not bright and good layin in the middle of the road. Yuya walks over to the decapitated corpse and kicks it with her right foot to see if it'll somehow come alive just by her rude kicking. When the body doesn't move she takes out a knife that appeared out of nowhere and starts cutting into the body. Everyone watches in morbid fascination. When she sticks her hand in the mans stomach and starts moving her hand in the body Kyo finally decides to ask what she was doing, "Yuya, just what the hell are you doing...wench?"  
  
Yuya keeps moving her hand around inside the rotting body but answers anyway, "I'm checking for something."  
  
Kyo raises an eyebrow in question, "Checking for what?"  
  
Yuya sighs still searching, "What does it matter?"  
  
Kyo snorts, "It's a dead body! What the hell could you be searching for inside of a dead body!"  
  
Yuya stops and looks up at him with a blank face while saying, "Obviously you don't know anything about voodoo and cursing people."  
  
Benitora chooses now to say something, "Uh...voodoo....and cursing? Miss Yuya how do you know such things?"  
  
Yuya stands up with the dead person's intestines in her hand, blood dripping off her fingers but she stays calm and looks Benitora in the eye. She stays silent for a couple of seconds and then tilts her head to the side and smiles, "Benitora, I know a lot of things that a lot of people wouldn't know. Voodoo is past down from generation to generation in my family. It's uh...kinda like a family heirloom or something...or another. But yeah...I needed the intestines from a dead person to perform the ritual...curse...voodoo thingy."  
  
Yukimora stands there trying to process this new bit of information and one thought comes to mind, "So...uh...what are we going to do about this dead body?"  
  
Sasuke walks over to Yukimora and shrugs, "Let's burn it."  
  
Everyone nods in agreement as Yuya takes a rock and starts grinding the intestines.  
  
2 hours later...  
  
Everyone is standing around the flaming and burning dead person while Yuya is running around the body and making Indian noises with her hand. Yuya slowly stops chanting and raises her arms to the sky. Suddenly there are thunder clouds and you hear the beating of drums in the far distance getting louder and louder as Yuya starts speaking to the sky, "Hear me oh great and mighty ancestors!"  
  
Sasuke looks up from his boiling lizard and snake turd stew and snorts, "Mighty ancestors? Yeah, right!"  
  
Yukimora smiles down at Sasuke, "Sasuke, let the pretty lady do her thing without any interruptions."  
  
Sasuke shrugs and returns to his cooking. Yuya pouts and groans, "Oh no!"  
  
Kyo looks annoyingly at her and asks, "What is it now," and then as an afterthought he adds, "Bitch!"  
  
Yuya starts biting her fingernails and frowns as she cries to the sky, "I CAN'T FUCKING REMEMBER WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO SAY!!!"  
  
Benitora falls to the ground, dumbfounded. And Yukimora and Sasuke watch the boiling lizard and snake turd stew as if they hadn't heard a thing. Saizo...was dead, as seen in last chapter. Kyo was...smoking again. Yuya starts crying and unexpectedly they hear a shout of, "Did I just hear somebody say they can't remember their lines?"  
  
Everyone looks up to see a person wearing a jacked up cape landing about 2 feet from the group and onto a really gay hill that was SUPPOSED to look cool or something as his cape floats behind him to where there's a sunset....and...yeah. Yuya raises an eyebrow in question, "Uh...Megeria....what are you doing here?"  
  
The man in the cape who was still standing on the hill....also know as Megeria snorts, "Don't you know that I ALWAYS come out of nowhere unexpectedly when something important and gay happens!"  
  
Benitora nods while scratching his head, "Yeah...actually that's really true."  
  
Yukimora and Sasuke finally look up and notice that he's there. Yukimora was the one to speak, "Say...why you do that anyway?"  
  
Megeria gives him a blank look and stays silent for a couple of minutes before answering, "Hell if I know, the writers are the ones that make me do stuff."  
  
Yuya just stands there in a thoughtful pose when what she wants to say finally comes to her, "So uh...why are you here?"  
  
Megeria seems to know nothing of what she's talking about but a couple of minutes of more silence lets him remember and he says, "Oh yeah! Well, the writers told me to give you the script so you can say your lines."  
  
Yuya stands there like a dummy until she finally walks over to him and takes the script and looks over her lines. Some more minutes pass by and she finally has her lines memorized so she gives Megeria the script back. Megeria gets ready to leave but Yuya stops him and asks, "Hey wait! Where are going?"  
  
Megeria snorts for like the third time that day and sighs, "Don't you remember anything! I ALWAYS leave just as unexpectedly as I come!"  
  
Yuya stays looking dumb for some time and then she nods and waves good bye as Megeria jumps off and somehow flies away with the ducks as he says, "Hey there my little winged friends! Have you come to join me in my quest to Camelot?"  
  
Nobody has any idea what he just said so they go back to the scene. Yuya once again raises her arms to the sky and says, "Hear me oh great and mighty ancestors! I have a wish that I'd like to have granted! Please, give me the power to curse my enemy!"  
  
A huge clap of thunder is heard and seen through the sky and a deep and majestic voice booms, "Who is thy enemy child?"  
  
Yuya claps and jumps up and down in thankfulness as her little spell actually worked and she then regains her witch doctor act, "Thy enemy's name is Okuni!"  
  
The booming voice stays in thoughtful silence for a while but soon answers, "I shall grant your wish."  
  
Yuya jumps up and down in happiness. Everyone just looks to the sky in awe as heavenly divine white light parts the clouds and shines down upon them and suddenly everyone feel warm. The blissful feeling departs once another clap of thunder is heard and the sky clears up to show the sunset once again as they notice the burning body is nowhere to be found. Benitora starts looking around but to no avail so he just plops down on the ground beside Sasuke and Yukimora. Sasuke was once again cooking and Yukimora was staring at Kyo...lost in thought. Kyo was drinking sake. And Yuya was walking away off to god knows where. Yukimora finally spoke his thoughts, "Kyo...where did you get that sake?"  
  
Kyo looks up startled as if just noticing that Yukimora was standing there less then 5 feet away, "What? Oh yeah, Megeria tossed me a jug of sake when he was leaving...so thoughtful of him (sniffle)!"  
  
Yukimora frowns and growls, "That basterd, where's MY sake!"  
  
Kyo raises an eyebrow at Yukimora's temper but decides not to question it and instead says, "Pfft, I don't know. Maybe he just doesn't like you (laugh)."  
  
Yukimora gasps in bewilderment and says in an offended manner, "He doesn't like me! B-but why? Everyone's supposed to like me! I'm so good looking and I have a drunken personality that it's almost impossible not to like me!"  
  
Benitora chuckles and adds in, "And you're powerful as hell! Whoa, man....you're like....a ladies man now that I remember how many chicks you're always around."  
  
Sasuke sighs and says, "Man! You don't know the half of it. Whenever we stay at an inn he usually makes me sleep in the room beside his and shit! I always hear all these moans and screams of (high pitched voice....trying to sound like a chick) YUKIMORA!!!"  
  
Benitora gasps, "Yukimora! Ya do that stuff while you know that Sasuke's in the next room!"  
  
Yukimora looks at them as if insulted and says, "What! He was gonna hear it at some point of his life! Why not let him hear it now! And besides, he's already had sex before."  
  
Benitora's eyes open up like they usually do when he's shocked and what not and he looks at Sasuke as if the answer would be written on him and asks, "Really! With who?" Sasuke cheeks turn slightly pink from embarrassment and looks away before yelling, "I'm not telling ya!"  
  
Yukimora suddenly looks bored and goes to sit next to Kyo, but not before saying, "He had sex with Kotoro."  
  
Kyo spits out his sake and starts coughing from the sake that had gone down the wrong pipe while saying between coughs, "You (cough) had sex (cough) with a guy! (Cough)"  
  
Benitora smirks and messes with Sasuke's hair, "So the lil devil's a queer after all!"  
  
Sasuke gets in defensive mode, "What do ya mean after all!!!"  
  
Benitora shrugs and looks around, "I always knew something was wrong with ya."  
  
Yukimora closes his eyes and sighs, "Sasuke, calm down. We all have our little secrets. Don't we Benitora?"  
  
Sasuke glares at Benitora and asks, "Yeah Benitora what's your secret?"  
  
Benitora's eyes open once again as he spits to the side as if to make him look manlier or something and then he answers with a girlish stutter, "W- well....uh...y-ya s-see....m-me and Y-Yukimora were uh...drunk a-and we ...uh...we...um...Yukimora?"  
  
Yukimora looks up with a bored expression on his face and says, "We had sex."  
  
Sasuke stays silent and Kyo spits out his sake once again only to be led into a coughing fit while saying his shocked comment, "You (cough) and....that moron (deep breathe) Benitora! What the hell! (Cough)You better be glad that (cough) you were drunk or there (cough) is NO way that I would (choke) let you stay near me. (Hack) But still, (gasp for air) drunk or not... (HUGE gulp of sake)BENITORA!!!"  
  
Yukimora just stared at Kyo for what seemed like forever and slowly lifted his hand to Kyo's cheek to caress his skin lovingly. He lets out a little sigh and smiles, "Ya know Kyo...I always thought your eyes were beautiful."  
  
Kyo yelps and pushes Yukimora away as he runs into the forest where Yuya went still hearing the laughs of the gay man that was once almost sitting in his lap and Benitora.  
  
Somewhere in the forest....  
  
Yuya walks back to camp now fresh and squeaky clean.  
  
_Wow! I'm so glad there was a hot spring near by. It really calmed my nerves! I feel so refreshed and ready for what tomorrow brings.  
_  
And it was then that our heroine would bump into somebody and fall back with a cry of surprise. But just when she thought she would feel the ground connecting with her ass she felt an arm slip around her waist and push her into a firm but smooth and warm surface. Yuya looks up into the eyes of the person that she was least expecting to see and gasps, "Kyo!"  
  
She places her hands onto his chest and puts a little pressure into a small push as a silent plea for him to let her go. He just looked down at her as if seeing something that nobody else could ever see and pushed her against his chest once again. Yuya's eyes widened and she started putting more force into her push, trying to get away. Kyo's arms didn't tighten or loosen but they never let go. And soon he could feel a warm moist liquid seeping into his clothing right above his heart. He could feel Yuya shaking as she cried in his arms. And for some reason that displeased him and he tried to calm her as he whispered loving words such as, "Shh, it's ok. Don't cry. I don't like seeing you cry." And soon she calmed down and relaxed as she laid her head against his chest and sighed.  
  
After a couple of minutes she asked what had been messing with her mind for the passed 3 days, "Hey, Kyo...why did you do it?"  
  
"Do what?"  
  
"Why did you...have sex with me and then just dismiss me as your servant?"  
  
Kyo stays silent and for a moment Yuya thinks he's not going to answer but he does, "Why do you think I said that?"  
  
Yuya looks up confused by Kyo's confusing question. She didn't know why it mattered what she thought. He doesn't care what she thinks...he never has. And now...well she just didn't know what was up with him. But she answers anyway, "I was thinking that you said that because you're an ass and you were just using me because you were horny and you felt like having a good fuck...and me being the only girl around..."  
  
Yuya trails off not wanting to think about the pain anymore. She feels his hand cup her chin and gently tilt her head to look up into loving and guilty eyes. She gasps when she sees his eyes. Tears sprang into her eyes but she won't let them slide down her cheeks even if it killed her...  
  
_DAMN! I'm crying again! Why can't I ever just suck it up like a man...or um...a woman in my case and...no wait women usually always cry in these stupid and chick flick movie situations...whoa...too much to take in!  
_  
Suddenly she feels warm and moist lips upon hers and she couldn't help but kiss him back. She was pushed up against a tree and the hand that was once on the small of her back was now caressing her cheek. A gentle breeze was blowing making some of Yuya's golden locks brush against Kyo's face as if teasing him with how it gave him a tingly sensation running down his spine and earning a moan of pleasure from the demon. Kyo gently nipped Yuya's bottom lip making her gasp in surprise which was just what he wanted as he thrust his tongue into her mouth to taste her. And she melted into his arms as her knees began knocking together and she could no longer stand up. As soon as her tongue bravely went inside of Kyo's mouth only one thought came to mind when she tasted him.  
  
_The idiot's been drinking again! Where did he get the sake from? Hmm, I've got the upper hand on Okuni now! (Mind snicker)Hey! I wonder if the curse has taken effect on Okuni yet.  
_  
Somewhere far away...  
  
Groans are heard and Okuni's head pops out from bush and she growls, "How the HELL did I just suddenly get diarrhea? Hmm, I was fine this morning. Oh god!"  
  
And more groans are heard along with some sickening splattering sounds on the forest grass.  
  
Back with Yuya and Kyo...  
  
Kyo stopped the kiss and smiled lovingly down at her as he heard her whimper from the loss of his warm mouth. He took one step away from her and dropped his arms to his sides as he asked, "What is the truth Yuya? You need to look deeper."  
  
And with that said Kyo left taking away his warmth...and his weirdness leaving Yuya...to wonder about his sanity.  
  
_What the hell did he mean by THAT? Oh god, he's starting to say pointless and meaningless shit AGAIN!  
_  
Back at the voodoo campsite...  
  
"Sake is WHAT!"  
  
Kyo looked at a shocked out of her mind Yuya as if he wasn't like that himself just 30 minutes ago, "Calm down Yuya."  
  
Sasuke glares at Benitora for telling Yuya that he was gay and snickers as he fills her in on the other secret, "Oh, but Yuya...apparently when Benitora and Yukimora were alone and drunk they decided it'd be alright to have some fun and they had sex. (Grin)"  
  
Benitora hits Sasuke over the head and pouts at Yuya, "We were drunk Yuya! It didn't mean anything!"  
  
Yukimora blushes and bites his lip as he looks at Benitora in sadness.  
  
Yuya catches Yukimora's look but decides that it would be best if she let them handle their problems on their own. Kyo then stands up and clears his throat as if to make a speech and asks, "Ok boys and girls, what have we learned about drinking?"  
  
Sasuke and Benitora look at each other and stutter, "Well, uh don't....don't drink...it's a bad for you and um...stuff... (Looks off to some far away and non existent lands)"  
  
Kyo frowns, "No! Drink all the time! All the good stuff happens when you're drunk! But if your names are Yukimora and Benitora...you better stay the HELL away from each other if you're drunk because ya never know if you're gonna reveal some inner secret inside of you while you are...like the fact that just MAYBE you're gay."  
  
Everyone stays silent until Sasuke says, "Anybody want some lizard and snake turd stew?"  
  
Yuki Haitani: Yay!!! Tis so good!!! Me so proud! And this chapter took 3 freakin days to type! I kept thinking of ways not to type this...I'm a lazy bum...so what. SO R&R!!! 


	5. Burn baby burn

A/N: I uh......kinda wanted to apologize for how crappy the past couple of chapters have been. This was actually supposed to be a serious fic......for the first chapter only though....but then....when I actually thought about it....every serious fic that I've ever done.....which is like....only 3 counting this one has always turned out humorous. And I'm not talking about my one- shots b/c those are easy to do while keeping everything serious. But when I think about it.....I need to have humor in my life.....so it's hard for me to do angst, depressing fics. But um.....so for those of you who...like serious fics....I'm starting a new fic called "Running Away" It will NOT be Inuyasha like most of my fics are....as a matter of fact.....I think I'll make it something for Samurai Deeper Kyo laughing evilly It will actually be in the future time....maybe with a high school setting....maybe something else....which is hard to do with Kyo acting like an ass-erm I mean adult. sigh But somehow I'll make it work to make up for all the fics that I've ruined with my lazy writing. Though of course for those of you who like fics like this one....I'll leave this fic for just plain old jacked up bullshit writing. And well...also...this fic will end in 3 or maybe even 4 more chapters. It'll probably have a happy ending.....or will it? Hmm.....so many possibilities! And just so you guys know, this chapter is almost COMPLETELY pointless but hey! At least I updated! Oh and um.....for all you ppl who have stayed with me as I've written these screwed up chapters, thank you all! bows Lil Inuyasha, Yuya, Cesia Illuser, and my best bud Naroki, thank you.  
  
**_Chapter 5 Burn baby burn!  
_**  
"Kyo! Where are we going?"  
  
Yuya the bounty hunter was hurt....and depressed....and disgusted....and hungry. But then...so am I. The group hasn't eaten since yesterday because Kyo said they didn't have time to waste just to stop for food. But Yuya knew. Oh yes, she knew. Kyo was starving. Plus....she's been feeling really....frisky...and Kyo was being a bitch so she couldn't satisfy her....lustful desires. But because she was even having such desires she was disgusted with herself. And also because Kyo said they couldn't stop walking she couldn't take a bath...and she sprained her ankle when she tried to run away from Kyo to take said bath. So she was taking a ride on Kyo's back until she felt better....aint that sweet. Awww.  
  
"Shut up! I'm tired of you asking stupid questions! If you want a bath so much then we'll find a hot spring...," Kyo growled too tired and hungry to give a complete answer.  
  
But Yuya...nope, she wasn't tired one bit. So she asks, "When?"  
  
Kyo's mind was starting to fry, "Wha?"  
  
Yuya sighs, "I said, when?"  
  
Kyo frowns confused, "When what?"  
  
Yuya starts playing with his hair, "When will I get a bath?"  
  
Kyo swats Yuya's hand away and says, "I don't know. Someday.....out there...."  
  
Yuya's jaw drops and she feels the need to puke, "Someday! What do ya mean someday?"  
  
Kyo feels like he's about to fall asleep and he's tired from caring Yuya around for almost a whole day (Whoa, pretty strong!), "Like I said...someday..."  
  
Yuya decided that she didn't feel like talking anymore so she stayed quiet....but Yukimora thought silence was gay and said something, "Hey! Look over there! It's an inn! Maybe we should go and stay there for tonight!"  
  
Sasuke, Yuya and Benitora cheer up and agree. Kyo just starts walking over to the inn. And Saizo....is dead, as seen in chapter 3. As soon as they pay for their night at the inn and walk into one of the rooms Kyo drops Yuya on the floor earning a yelp of pain and surprise plus a death glare from the offended girl.  
  
Kyo turns on her suddenly drops to his knees on the floor next to her, pulls her into a tight embrace and growls in her ear, "Shut. UP!"  
  
Yuya shivers uncontrollably from the tickling sensation of Kyo's breath on her ear and neck but she manages to glare at his annoyed yet amused face when he pulls away from her.  
  
_Whoa...totally unexpected and pointless at the SAME TIME!!!  
  
_Yukimora comes out of nowhere, "Whoa did I....interrupt something?"  
  
Yuya like any normal anime chick needs to make a big deal and jump back as is something was actually happening and Kyo just looks all bored and stuff.  
  
Yuya starts getting in nervous mode, "Uh...well uh ....."  
  
Kyo starts smoking and says, "No, you didn't interrupt anything."  
  
Yukimora sees the wild and dazed look in Yuya's eyes but like Yuya he decided that it would be best if they handled their problems on their own and replies, "Ok, well, the owner of the inn said he's having a party."  
  
Kyo looks a little interested, "Oh, well then I'll be joining it. Of course there's sake involved right?"  
  
Yukimora nodded and looked at Yuya in a scary....but with a hint of amusement kind of way, "I'd like to speak with you Yuya....if it's all right..."  
  
Yuya nodded and Kyo walked out of the room but not without throwing Yuya a smile leaving Yuya to...once again ponder over his sanity.  
  
Once Kyo leaves the room Yukimora closes the door and turns around with a grin on his face, "So....miss Yuya....you love Kyo right?"  
  
Yuya does another one of those anime girl stunts and blushes, sigh nothing new there, "Wh-what do you mean?"  
  
Yukimora sighs exasperatingly, "Oh please! EVERYONE knows you 2 have something going on! We all know you had sex with Kyo!"  
  
Yuya gasps and then she turns silent.....but then she does what anime chicks don't normally do.....she shrugs and grins, "Yeah, you're right! I did have sex with Kyo....but um.....about anything going on....I'm not too sure..."  
  
Yukimora walks over and sits down next to Yuya while gesturing for her to sit in his lap, "Oh...what do you mean?"  
  
Yuya hesitates....but Yukimora is...laughs just too much to resist....so....she sits in his lap making Yukimora giggle and start playing with her hair....weirdo, "Well um...Yukimora ya see....remember when we came back and Kyo said that he didn't love me....and he sure as hell doesn't act like it either so.....but then just 2 days ago he kissed me and asked me what the truth was and that I need to look deeper....he's REALLY starting to freak me out! Do you think he....he's....um....going through his little problem again?"  
  
Yukimora nods and frowns, "Yes well.....he might be....I mean....it sure sound like his little problem but um....who knows? I mean when it comes to Kyo...ya just...never know...."  
  
They sit in silence for a while until Yuya smiles and says, "Hey Yukimora....tell me...do you love Benitora?"  
  
Yukimora's eyes go wide and his jaw drops while he stutters an answer, "W- well I um....I....sighs and looks away um...."  
  
Yuya nods in understanding, "It's ok, and I know you do. The way you look at him...it's in your eyes..."  
  
Yukimora looks up in confusion, "In my eyes? What do mean?"  
  
Yuya looks confused herself and then shrugs, "Yeah well.....I don't know...I heard that saying somewhere....I thought it would sound great in a situation like this so....ya know..."  
  
Yukimora nods, "Yeah it does sound pretty good in this situation....but um....was it THAT obvious that I liked him?"  
  
Yuya shakes her head, "Well....only to a trained eye....women just know these things."  
  
Yukimora smiles too, "Oh, I see...well....we better go and join the...."  
  
Yuya wrinkles her nose, "What's that smell?"  
  
Yukimora looks thoughtful for a couple of seconds, "It...smells like something's burning..."  
  
They look at each other for a few minutes before running out the door.  
  
IN THE PARTY ROOM.....  
  
Benitora screams, "HOLY SHIT!!!!! We're all gonna die!!!!"  
  
Kyo smacks Benitora upside the head, "Shut up! Where's my Muramasa?"  
  
Benitora starts laughing, "Oh-ho! Ya lost your sword!"  
  
Kyo growls making Benitora shut up and he looks around the burning room until he spots his sword and he runs over to it to embrace his lovely possession.  
  
Sasuke had run out long ago and Saizo....is dead, as seen in the 3rd chapter. This is when Yuya and Yukimora run in and see that the room was in flames so they grab Kyo and a dancing Benitora.  
  
10 minutes later....  
  
Everyone stood outside the now burned down inn in silence....when Yuya asks, "Um...what happened?"  
  
Benitora shrugs and Kyo just looks around as if he hadn't heard anything.  
  
Sasuke glares at Benitora and Kyo while answering, "These too were drinking too much and Benitora stated lighting candles while Kyo would knock them down trying to burn Benitora."  
  
Yuya raises an eyebrow but other then that...everyone's silent.....  
  
Kyo chooses now to say something, "Ok kiddies what have we learned today?"  
  
Yukimora grins, "Never play with fire!"  
  
Kyo closes his eyes for a few second then opens them and shouts, "WRONG ANSWER!"  
  
Sasuke raises his hand, "If you're drinking alcohol never play with candles?" Kyo shouts, "WRONG AGAIN!"  
  
Benitora jumps up and down shouting, "I know the answer! It's.....if you're drunk you should play with fire all the time!"  
  
Kyo shrugs, "Well....you got half right. We learned that if your names are Kyo and Benitora and you're drunk fire is the way to go!"  
  
Yuya claps her hands, "I KNEW that was the answer!"  
  
Kyo looks bored, "Well if you knew the answer....then why didn't you say anything?"  
  
Yuya shrugs, "Um...I don't know?"  
  
Kyo frowns, "Exactly! Ya didn't know the answer."  
  
Sasuke cuts in, "Hey.....guys....should I start making the fried deer eyes and frog guts?"  
  
Yuki Haitani: Yeah...sorry that this chapter wasn't as good as any of my other ones but.....I was in a depressed fic writing mood so sorry ppls. But please, R&R! 


	6. I like my Lobster Fried

A/n: sigh geez I've been sighing a lot. But uh...hey guys, sorry about making you ppl wait so f'in long for this chapter......ok I'm actually not that sorry. I mean I have school ok....and chores....and family bonding to do since I lost some of that special family stuffs b/c I've been sucha bitch to them for months and I'm just now trying to make up for my disrespectful, lonerish, and sarcastic rude behavior that they've had to put up with for about a year. So no, I'm not really sorry b/c I have a life that's for now been more important then So now that we have all this crap settled and I might have scared off some readers with how I sound so cruel and selfish right now, let's begin this chapter.....which is another pointless piece of work....with only a HINT of importance stuck in here......somewhere....

Chapter... (Damn, what chapter was this again? frustration building up uh...let's try this again shall we)

Chapter 6 I like my Lobster fried

"Dammit, Kyo! We're lost, aren't we!?"

"Shut UP bitch! I KNOW where we're going so stop yelling in my ear would you!"

"I can yell in your ear as long as I want ASSHOLE!"

"Hah! We'll see about that..."

And without any warning Kyo drops Yuya on the ground, who was, until now having a nice piggy back ride, spits on her, and then starts walking away. All coherent thought was lost. The flames of woman PMSing fury were instantly taking away all human thoughts leaving only a dangerous blonde killer who seeks for revenge on anyone even if it's just some old granny crossing the street with a walker and grand kid eating a lolli pop. Poor poor souls in that case. All life was gonna end and all deaths were to be made out as a simple accident because if you blamed somebody as insane as Yuya was right now you're asking for a screw driver and a fishing pole jacked up inside your butt. Now even though I seriously don't know how that feels I can sure as hell imagine that crap and it's WRONG.

With the speed of a tiger and the crazy spirit of a rabid monkey Yuya jumped up, ran full speed ahead intent on catching her pray while he had no idea of the world of pain he was about to be in, and tackle Kyo with his back turned. Her results: caught, dropped, and tore up without any meat left on his bones. There was blood flying through the air. There were torn clothes thrown all over the forest. Survivors equaled: none.

Yuya moved with crimson red vision and after she was done with her actual prey she turned around swearing that whatever moved an inch within a 5 mile radius she would screw them senseless...literally. It's strange how blind anger could lead to blind lust and getting horny.

All occupants of that forest and even forest around them seemed to get some warning mental message, not unlike that of a flare being shot up in the air and decided....they should get the HELL outta Japan because this chick is now doing a remake of Battousai the man slayer. And chances are that if the real Battousai were to go up against this blood thirsty freak the victor would be Yuya. Women are just twice as good as men when it came to having no brain while going through a hell rage.

So when Yukimura and the others saw her stuffing her face in the mutilated body of the once almighty and powerful Demon eyes Kyo they figured 'Hey! Why don't we just run around in circles screaming Bloody murder while she gives a friendly game of cat and her little mice!'

And so it had come to pass that the group all found themselves in the same gloriously screwed up prime time of their life having been ended thanks to the drunken imagination of this wonderful author who is indeed feeling very drunk. Though I'll leave that little bit of information alone until the next chapter's author's note. Shall we say crazy as a chicken laying a fried egg because of overdosing on Tylenol, never mind on how a chicken even got the Tylenol and decided that downing a couple of bottles of the stuff would most likely end it's miserable life. But past the chicken and its suicide attempts, the group was as dead as a roasted lobster. Fried? Boiled alive? Whichever is your preferred ending of a lobster of should I say the group's life is only your decision. But is this the end of the story for our heroes? Most likely no on account of I just said that there would be another chapter. I mean, we still need to find out the other character's feelings and emotions on this. What was our Russian accented friend Megeria thinking about all of this? Where was Okuni when her....somewhat friends were being screwed to death by an insane rage driven Yuya? Why did I make all the characters die when Yuya and Kyo still haven't gathered their courage to tell each other that they loved the other one? Well stay tuned and you'll find out in the next exciting update of this fic. Review ppl!!!


	7. Hooded figures and confusion

A/n: Umm...ok first, I'd like to say I'm sorry. I'm really and truly sorry. Damn! I made you guys wait 2 freakin months for an update and when I finally do update I write nothing but a piece of shitty work. I could've done better. But ya see, like I told you in the last chapter I was feeling sorta drunk....a better word for that could also be drugged or hyper, whichever seems the better choice to you, I really don't care. But the point is I was hyper...and when I'm hyper crazy crap happens...one of those things was me singing off key to some Japanese anime song (never mind what or where I got the song from) while running around the house and I ended up running into a wall. Now chances are it's happened to everybody. We all get hyper at least a handful times in 3 years. (Come ON now, like I would've said we all get hyper only a handful of times in our life. That's crazy now! Cause if ya don't get hyper like 50 times in your lifespan then you are one BORING person!!!) So basically....another crazy thing that happened while I was feeling drunk...was I got the insane inspiration to write something jacked up...and the last chapter...was what I fucking wrote. I am so VERY sorry. Well....with the apologies done now on with the fic!

Chapter 7/8

* * *

_**Chapter 7 Hooded Cloaked Figures and Confusion**_

* * *

"Holy shit!"

Yuya quickly sat up panting from the nightmare (more like awesome dream) that she just had. But when she had yelled um....certain obscenities she had woken up more then just herself. (No duh!)

"DOUBLE D SIZED BOOBS! WHERE?!"

Yuya's jaw dropped as she looked at Demon Eyes Kyo who seemed to be having a break down from finding out his dream of naked pretty girls wasn't real. How sad.

"Um Kyo? You ok man?"

Kyo looked over at Benitora with teary eyes but soon noticed his vulnerable state and tried to wipe his tears on his sleeve while mumbling, "Yeah asshole I'm fine....shit can't a guy have his privacy every once in a while goddamn!"

"I'm sorry Kyo, but you aren't exactly considered a guy to me."

Everyone turned their attention to Yukimura to see him wearing his usual I'm-so-much-better-then-you-so-hah smirk. Yuya decided to see if Yukimura was still sane and asked, "Um...Yukimura...what are you talking about?"

For a second nobody knew if he was even going to bother answering or not but it seemed that his attention was else where as he giggled and pointed, "Look! There's 3 foot hooded figures with scythes!"

So like the idiots they were they turned just in time to have tomatoes thrown in their faces, familiar laughter was heard as they all proceeded to wipe the red mush off. When they looked up there stood Megeria, clutching his stomach and slapping his knee, obviously too busy making hoo and hah noises to notice that there really were black figures in cloaks standing behind him. The last thing they heard and saw was the little hooded figures waving while one (though unknown as to which one) said in a squeaky Tellie Tubby voice, "You're going to be kidnapped now. Have a nice nap!"

* * *

10 Seconds Later...

* * *

"Hey I think I got some dirt in my eye!"

Sasuke rubbed furiously at his poor eye and Yukimura tried to sooth him while rubbing his own effected eye.

Megeria coughed, having filled his lungs with some strange powder but still tried to ask, "Just what the hell was that stuff?!"

The hooded figures seemed to shiver in fear but one was dumb enough to answer the question, "Oh it was this special enchanting sleeping pixie dust that our people created so we may kidnap you and make you our slaves until the day you die....and then we'll just bring you back to life so you may work for us until you die again and then we'll just keep repeating this over and over again because watching people suffer is just so much fun!"

There was an annoying squeaker toy laugh emitting from the creature.

Yuya took out her gun and shot it, receiving thankful glances from everyone including some of the creature's comrades.

The little munchkin gave out a squeal of pain making everyone cover their ears and grind their teeth.

The creature kept on squealing.

It squealed some more.

Annnnnd some more.

Then finally...

All the creature's allies jumped it and started beating the shit out of it until there was only a pile of blood and guts left and one of the hooded little people spit on it just because.

"Ya know walnuts aren't very healthy for you."

Everyone turned to Megeria in question and confusion.

Kyo gets a serious look and nods, "Yeah I hear they can help cause cancer."

Benitora seems to understand as well, "No wait, ya know apricots aren't that good for you either. Do you think it may have something to do with healthy looking foods actually being unhealthy for you?"

Demon Eyes Kyo seemed to almost giggle as he slapped Benitora's arm playfully gaining a chuckle from the closed eye weirdo, "No no no! That can't be! It just can't be!"

Yukimura looked thoughtful, "Well.....maybe it is true...I mean I have heard of some sort of mysterious virus called the 'Alaskan Blue Tropical Sundress' that may just be the source of this...strange cancer problem."

Thoughtful expressions appeared on everyone's faces.

"Hey! You aren't supposed to be sitting there chatting! You're supposed to be running in fear from us!"

The group turned their heads to the little people with boredom written all over their faces with black sharpie.

Kyo asks, "Why?"

Cloaked figure number 1 turned to Kyo, "Why what?"

"Why should we run away from you in fear?"

Cloaked figure number 1 nodded his head finally knowing what he's talking about, "Ohhh, yes, you should be."

Yukimura sighs, "Well, WHY should we is what we want to know."

"Why should you what?"

"Run!?"

"Why would you want to run?"

"From you!!!"

A sniffle.

"Ya wanna run from us? But why!?"

And some sobbing is inserted here.

A glare from Yukimura.

"No! You were the ones who said that we should be running!"

The hooded figure places a dark sleeve upon the chin of his cloak.

"Oh I see. Well then I don't see what the problem is. I mean so you say we told you to run, so then run. What's so difficult to understand about that?"

A growl comes from Yukimura and his fists start to shake as he asks in a calm steady voice, completely betraying the fact that he wasn't calm and actually pissed, "Can I ask you a question please?"

"Ask away."

"Why should we run GODDAMMIT YOU RETARDS!!!"

Yuya gasped at Yukimora's foul language and Yukimura frowned, "Well what? Come on! They're the ones who say that we should be running and when we ask why they forget just what the heck we were talking about! It's so frustrating that I just wanna curse!"

"Um...Yukimura?"

Yukimura turned fire filled eyes to Benitora, "RAISE YOUR HAND DAMN YOU!"

Benitora gave a nervous laugh and hesitantly raised his hand.

"FUCK! WHAT IS IT!?"

Benitora ducked his head, flinching at the anger in Yukimura's normally kind cheerful voice, "Uh...I was just gonna say that you already cussed."

Yukimura blinks now looking innocent.

"Oh I have?"

"Yes."

Some of the black cloaked beings snickered and one dared to whisper, "Who's the retard now!"

"SHUT UP SHIT HEADS!!!"

The little figures shuddered in fear from the youngest of the Sanada.

Megeria blinked, "Whoa...dude."

Yuya's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "Eh? Megeria? What did you just say?"

Megeria looked at her now also very confused, "I'm sorry Miss Yuya, what did you just say?"

"I asked what you said."

"Oh well....what DID I just say?"

"Some strange word that was uh...dude?"

Megeria smiled, "Oh! Yes well....I don't know. I heard it somewhere is all."

Yukimura took a serious look once again and asked the hooded figures then spoke slowly as if speaking to a child, !?"

Yuya gave another gasp, "Yukimura!"

He gave a sheepish smile, "Whoops! Sorry!"

Sasuke finally decided to speak, "So what's the deal? Why do we need to run?"

The midget people nodded and hooded figure number 2 answered, "Yes, well, we are here to kidnap you and keep you as slaves...therefore you should start screaming and running around like the pansies you are in 5..."

Nervous shifting.

"4..."

Quick glances.

"3..."

The group stood up.

"2..."

A nod to each other.

"1..."

And just like the pansies they were, they started screaming and running in circles. The last thing they heard was Sasuke yelling, "Oh no! My mongoose kidney soup is gonna spoil!"

* * *

A/n: so, better chapter then last time no? R&R ppls!!!


	8. Ending With The Confessions

AUTHOR'S LAST NOTES OF FAREWELL: Oh boy. I have put off this chapter for far too long. It shall be my deepest regret to say this. But this...is the last chapter. This fic is done ppls. And I'd like to thank each and every one of my lovely fans out there who loved this fic and read it even though I never asked you to. I mean...out of the thousands of ppl out there who watch and read Samurai deeper Kyo you guys were the ones who cared enough to grant this poor egotistical author her most desired wish; which is to know that ppl care. Thank you all. I love each of you dearly for sticking with me and reading this jacked up fic till the very end. And for all you ppl who are just now deciding to read this fic and review it I thank you too. I guess even though your review didn't come fast enough during the time that I was actually writing this and needed them to get inspired, you still gave me more reviews. So I thank you newcomers also. Now....without wasting anymore time I give you...

_**Chapter 8 Ending With The Confessions **_

_How did it go? A B C D E F G H I J K L- wait a second.....where am I? And....why can't I move? What the HELL is rubbing against my leg!?_

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

Megeria let out a girlish scream and tried to move his arms and legs to try to escape the fiend who was rubbing his leg.

Someone slapped him....hard.

And he whimpered like the pansy he was.

But like the smartest character he was he turned to see who his attacker was and saw...

"GASP! NOBUNAGA!!!!"

Nobunaga grinned like the fag he was and replied, "Dun Dun DUN!!!! At your service!"

Megeria blinked and then looked down at his ropes....then at his surroundings which appeared to be the same place they were at when they were knocked out.......then at all his other friends who like him, were tied to a tree and looking at him with bored and pissed off expressions.....then at Nobunaga....then at the ropes again...then at Nobunaga...then ropes....Nobunaga's little 3 foot tall hooded minions who were gathered around them....ropes......Nobunaga......then to a far off and non-existent land that could be seen between the trees somewhere on the left and opposite to the right where Nobunaga's head was....

Then finally it hit.

Megeria's eyes went as wide as golf balls.....then they turned into tennis balls.....then into grape fruit.....then because they were taking up too much of his face that he couldn't even breathe his eyes went back to being the size of golf balls.

"Dude....what the hell is your problem?"

Megeria set his eyes back on Nobunaga and tilted his head letting his mouth drop open.

He took a shuddering breathe.

He finally decided to speak, "Did you......"

Nobunaga leaned closer to hear, "What?"

Megeria's voice came out louder this time, "Did you do......anything?"

Nobunaga stayed silent and blinked a few times, "Um......excuse me?"

Megeria narrowed his eyes, "You heard me. I asked if you did anything!"

Nobunaga raised an eyebrow, "I'm sorry. I'm afraid I'm not following. What do you mean did I do anything? Did I do anything to what?"

Megeria growled, "Did you do ANYTHING to me?"

Nobunaga's mouth became a frown, "What do you mean did I do anything to you? You don't feel hurt do you? Because I can assure you that I didn't hurt any of you during the process."

Megeria's mouth dropped open again and he finally snapped, "SO YOU DID DO SOMETHING!"

Nobunaga's patience was wearing thin, "I told you! I didn't hurt you or any of your little friends!"

Megeria leaned closer, "That's not what I meant and you know it!"

"I have NO idea what you're talking about dammit!!!"

"Yes you do!"

"NO I DON'T"

"DO!"

"DON'T"

"DO!!!"  
  
"DON'T!!!"

"DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"DON'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"SHUT UP!!!"

Everyone turned their heads to look at Yukimura who was panting and glaring at the 2 arguing freaks.

Yukimura finally spoke after putting back together the pieces of his gay pride, "Now listen to me. Megeria, it's obvious that Nobunaga is too stupid to know what you're talking about. And Nobunaga it's obvious that Megeria is too much of a dumbass-"

A gasp from Yuya.

Yukimura glares at her, "Oh shut up woman! I'm trying to handle this mess. I don't need your unnecessary gasps! Ok where was I? Oh yeah. And Nobunaga it's obvious that Megeria is too much of a dumbass to know that he's not making any sense at ALL! So Megeria explain yourself and Nobunaga listen and when he's done give the usual idiotic answer then slap him and be done with this."

Nobunaga smiled and said, "Ok!"

Megeria just kept on staring.

Yukimura frowned, "Megeria.....that was your sign to go ahead and say something."

Megeria blinks, "Oh! Right. Ok. So Nobunaga you know what I mean!"

"No I don't! TELL ME!"

"DID YOU SATISFY YOUR INSANE HORNY DESIRES WITH MY BODY!?"

It was Nobunaga's turn for his jaw to drop, "WHAT THE HELL YOU RUSSIAN FOOL!?"

Megeria narrowed his eyes, "Oh so you did!"

Nobunaga placed his hand upon his chest appearing as if deeply offended, "Ugh! I'm INSULTED! How could you think I'd do something so utterly wrong and disgusting?"

Megeria leaned forward and frowned, "Hmmmm......reveal yourself jack off."

Nobunaga crossed his arms, "What the heck are you talking about now?"

"I know you aren't Nobunaga. Show yourself now."

'Nobunaga' grinned, "Oh! How did you figure it out?"

Megeria leaned back against the tree and sighed, "How did I know? I knew because that fruit cake Nobunaga would've never passed up the chance to rape all these guys around here let alone ME!"

'Nobunaga' gave a bored look, "Hmm, yes I know what you mean."

Silence took over for a while with only the birds and crickets chirping to keep the silence from reigning.

Yukimura cleared his throat, "Hello! Nobunaga! Or whoever you are! Now that you've given your stupid answer what are you supposed to do?"

'Nobunaga' nodded, "Oh right! Yes ok!"

And with that 'Nobunaga' slapped Megeria across the cheek and mumbled, "Gay ass retard!"

Kyo sighs, "Um, excuse me! But why are we tied to trees and in the same place that we were before?"

Benitora agreed, "I know! Weren't we supposed to be like food for you aliens or something?"

The little hooded figures snickered.

'Nobunaga' gave a look that clearly said oh-for-the-love-of-horny-wal-nuts-what-the-fuck-is-this-guy-talkin-about-?

Benitora gave a nervous laugh, "I'll take that as a no."

Nobunaga rolled his eyes, "Ok well I'll tell you what. All you people are gonna die and that's that. End of discussion. I'm tired of listening to you people. Geez, I think I got a headache."

"Oh god would you shut UP already!"

Everyone looked at Kyo who looked really ticked and he glared at everyone saying, "WHAT!? Is there something on my face or what goddammit! WHY DO YOU PEOPLE ALWAYS STARE AT ME!? I mean I KNOW I'm beautiful and all but damn! You guys go overboard with the obsessing!"

Everyone frowned and looked at him like he was a retard.

"What? Is it wrong to obsess over someone as strong and manly as you my dear Kyo?"

Yuya turned her head saying, "Lady Okuni! Is that you?"

Everybody turned their heads and saw it was Akira.

Akira looked disgusted, "Ugh. That skanky whore!? No! It's me Akiru!"

Sasuke sighed, "I thought your name was Akira."

Akira turned his closed eyes to the boy, "Oh....yeah....it is isn't it? Well it was ONCE Akiru."

Yuya looked interested, "Oh? When was this?"

"When I first lost my eyesight."

Yuya gave a look of pity, "Oh! You poor thing! How did you loose your eyesight? I've always wondered."

Akira shook his head and had a look of great sorrow upon his face as he recalled the memory, "It all happened when I was but a boy and a war was going on. My village was massacred and there was fire everywhere. The flames devoured everything in sight. I was all alone in my room with I finally realized that there was smoke in the house. It suddenly felt so hot and it became too hard to breathe. I rushed to the door and touched the door knob, burning my hand. So I grabbed a shirt and wrapped it around my hand to open the door without getting burned this time. I crawled down the stairs only to find that the fire was in the way of my house door. With nowhere to run I tried climbing out a window not noticing that the fire had already started burning my sleeve. And the flames on my shirt started growing until it started swallowing me whole. It finally reached my head and it covered my eyes.....it burne d my face. I was so terrified."

Benitora gave a low whistle, "Oh man! Your eyes were burned! Damn that has GOT to hurt!"

Akira turned to Benitora and let out a deep breath before turning to the sky again, "No, cancer."

He turned his head towards the opposite direction. Everyone was silent....until Kyo cleared his throat, "Ok everyone, what have we learned today?"

Benitora and Yuya started yelling, "Pick me!"

Kyo looked at Benitora, "Yes?"

The pink haired man cleared his throat, "We learned that Megeria has an overactive imagination and is full of himself."

The demon stared at Tokugawa's youngest son and nodded, "Uh hum....no. Next?"

Yukimura grinned and raised his hand, "We learned that you should always listen to me because I'm the smartest of the group!"

"Wrong! Next?"

Sasuke waves his hand in the air, "Uh....we learned that Nobunaga is a fag and that this wanna be 'Nobunaga' is obsessed with him?"

Kyo smiled, "Yes.....we did learn that....but no, that's not the answer Sasuke. Who else?"

'Nobunaga' started jumping up and down with both his hands in the air, "I know! We learned that Sasuke is a FUCKING BITCH ASS MOTHER FUCKER WHO CAN'T KEEP HIS DAMN MUNCHKIN MOUTH SHUT!!!!"

He turned to Sasuke, "SHUT UP DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU TO HELL!!!!!"

Sasuke just smirked. So Kyo decided to break the fight, "Would you just shut the fuck UP already! Goddamn, ok who else thinks they have the answer?"

Yuya saw that it was her time to shine and yelled, "I have the answer! Pick me! Come on Kyo! Pick ME!!!"

Kyo glanced at her then looked around, "Ok, anybody? Does ANYBODY have the answer?"

Yuya was on the verge of tears, "KYO! PICK ME! I KNOW THE ANSWER!"

Kyo's patience was totally gone now, "BITCH! SHUT UP! I KNOW you don't have the answer so just stop wasting my time and fuck off!"

The blonde's lower lip trembled and her heart felt like somebody was running it over with an iron as she whispered out, "But Kyo...I love you."

Kyo....being the demon of the group was SOMEHOW able to hear this and a smile worked its way upon his lips. He quickly sucked up all the air he could, letting the ropes fall to the ground in a neat pile and walked over to her for a passionate kiss. He savored the moment as their tongues danced and each were unable to stop the moans that could be heard.

Everybody else just stared with wide eyes and jaws dropped to the ground.

But eventually Sasuke cleared his throat and the violin music along with the bubbly pinkish background disappeared, signaling that the 2 love birds were now done. The youngest of the Sanada brothers smiled and asked, "What is it my dear Sasuke? Do you also have a confession to make?"

Sasuke blushed, "Um....actually I do."

Yuya was done with being embarrassed and said, "Oh well then please tell us Sasuke."

"Well.....you see....."

Nobunaga growled, "Oh come OUT with it!"

"I'm gay."

Benitora's eyes grew wide once again, "What? Oh my god. How many gay people are there NOW!?"

Megeria used his super powers and somehow (don't ask me how) LASER BEAMED his way out of the ropes to raise his hand.

Benitora put on a look of disgust, "Oh not you too Megeria!"

"Um, actually I was just going to say that I had to use the bathroom. Go right on ahead with your gay-"

Sasuke glared, "We prefer the term homosexuals."

The Russian accented man rolled his eyes, "Whatever. Look I do not really care. I have to take a piss and that's what I'm going to do. So just carry on with your HOMOSEXUAL conversation. I'll be right behind this tree."

With that, the Russian was gone....behind the tree.....sounds of some form of liquid pouring on the ground like a water hose were coming from said tree.....we all know what's goin on people so let's just move on.

'Nobunaga' turned his head away from the tree, "Right. Well, let's continue this shall we?"

He started counting off his fingers while saying names aloud, "Allright. So we KNOW that Sasuke, Yukimura, and Kyo are queers."

Red eyes burned with fire, "HEY! I'm the one with a girlfriend so why would I be a queer!?"

"You'd be one because for all we know that dumb blonde could be just a cover up to hide your gayness and make us think that you're straight."

Demon eyes Kyo shook with unleashed anger, "Oh yeah! Well what about you? We don't even know just who the hell you are or where the hell you came from! I mean for all WE know you could actually be obsessed with Nobunaga. I mean why ELSE would somebody want to disguise themselves as him? I mean...and then there's the fact that you could be a fag yourself since we have yet to know if you're even a guy or a girl."

The sound of a zipper being pulled up made them all go silent as Megeria walked out from behind the tree whistling Popeye the Sailor Man. He soon noticed that the group were staring at him and stopped to say, "Well why doesn't someone just unmask the dude already?"

Akira walked over and took off 'Nobunaga's mask to reveal...

Dun dun DUN!!!

"OKUNI!?"

Okuni looked at Yuya and smirked, "What? I just wanted to have some fun. But now that you all know it's me let's move on. I know somebody who's here that is also VERY gay."

Okuni turned her head to Yukimura with an evil chuckle, "Well Lord Yukimura?"

Kyo cursed, "Oh good GOD Yukimura! Am I the ONLY straight man here or what?"

Megeria snorted, "Yeah. About as straight as a rainbow too."

Everyone laughed and Kyo did his petty threats. Megeria just flicked him off, "Sticks and stones demon boy."

Yukimura started sweating, "Actually. I have a confession to make myself. Benitora....I....I....I love you."

Kyo took out a bottle of sake and watched Yukimura cut the ropes with a knife then walk over to Benitora and give him a sweet kiss. He shook his head, "Fucking copycat."

Sanada stuck his tongue out at Kyo and the demon smirked, "Don't stick your tongue out unless you're going to use it lover boy."

Benitora paled, "Hey Kyo! You've already got a girlfriend! He's mine."

Benitora grabbed Yukimura around the waist and pulled him close to him for another long lasting meeting of the lips.

Kyo sighed, "Let's just call it a day."

Yuya suddenly remembered something, "Hey wait! Kyo, what was the lesson that we learned today?"

Akira snickered, "Don't you know? We learned that anytime Yuki Haitani writes a fic that has humor on it be ready for a one hell of a jacked up fic because Yuki Haitani KICKS ASS! Later people!"

Kyo clapped and watched Akira walk away, "I've taught that boy well. (Sniffle) I'm just so proud of him!"

Sasuke yawned and said, "Hey guys? Can we leave so that I can make some stir fried jack rabbit legs?"

Everyone including the 3 foot hooded figures and Nobunaga agreed and everyone walked away.

Yuya was still stuck to a tree.

3 years later Kyo wondered what happened to Yuya but blew it off when Okuni started rubbing herself against him. Yukimura ended up having 5 kids (Don't you DARE ask me how) with Benitora. Sasuke of course got with Kotoro only to one day find out he was being cheated on by a squirrel so he killed his lover. Megeria was still being stalked by Nobunaga and Saizo....has been and always WILL BE dead as seen in chapter 3. So everyone lived happily ever after!

Except for Yuya who was still stuck to a tree.

THE END

A/n: Oh dear god. It's finally over. THE FIC IS DONE PEOPLE! Well....the ending sucked but hopefully the rest of the fic made up for that. Well now that this is over I send my thanks to you all! You've been a beautiful audience! Now remember R&R PPL!!!!!!


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